Karl-Heinz Schubert

"Nice therapist from 68, unfortunately not suitable for Russian Germans!" With interruptions, I came into therapy for a total of 14 years and initially experienced a lot of positive things, for which I would like to sincerely thank Mr. Schubert. In principle, I would also describe him as a very good therapist. But in the end the therapy developed an unbelievable dynamic that I would never have thought possible, because at some point I had to find out that he was completely blind in the left eye. There is a very large transgenerational trauma in my family: My family comes from the former Soviet Union and in the course of the stalin terror of the 1930s a total of seven people in my family were murdered. The communists responsible for these murders were Russian Germans from the village and two Jews. My grandparents and my parents spent many years of their lives in the gulag. And I was practically not “allowed” to talk about all of this, because there was the perspective of Germans as victims. That brought Mr Schubert completely into a rage ... every time that somehow came up, he lurked in eight position and started up. When I pointed out to him that my two grandfathers didn't take part in World War II after all, and weren't even ordinary soldiers, he just grinned stupidly and said: but he couldn't know my story. (After coming to his practice for fourteen years !!!). Of course, it is difficult to put yourself in this other situation. But I think I was just interested in what my client was telling me. And that is exactly the point that I reproach Mr. Schubert with: namely, this complete one !!! Disinterest and this absolute lack of empathy because my family is German. He himself, however, claimed exactly this empathy for himself: for him it was the most natural thing in the world to be leftist and communist: his therapeutic approach was that I simply did not want to admit to myself that I actually had sympathy for communism. I thought about it ... maybe he was right. But everything turned out very differently: When I went to work one morning, it shot into my consciousness: Wait a minute, I've been sitting there for fourteen years and he grins stupidly at me and says I didn't know that. And the repressed suddenly broke through with such force ... inner explosions, anger, hate ... these feelings keep coming up and I can't push them away. For three years you have dominated my complete thinking ... they are there every second of my life ... when I wake up in the morning I think of this therapy ... at night I have trouble sleeping ... as a result of the great exhaustion meanwhile problems with blood sugar. When I then confronted Mr. Schubert with the result of his therapy, he didn't even think it necessary to write me an answer. Perhaps that was my subtle question with which I unconsciously came into therapy: Can you take this left-wing behavior of the 68 generation seriously, or rather, how seriously can you take it at all, because the whole thing seems a bit ridiculous to someone, who comes from Russia ... that in the end the whole thing would collapse so ridiculously and so poorly, I really wouldn't have thought ... I really thought: the German left ... that's a man of character ... not like in Russia. We were not allowed to talk about these crimes in Russia ... and obviously we are not allowed to talk about them in Germany either .... My personal conclusion of the therapy: In German living rooms people dream, whether of communism or the Greater German Reich ... and in the east people are murdered and died. At the end you just grin stupidly and say: "I didn't know that!"